Take Your ‘#MeToo’ and Shove It

The day I was raped was the first time I wore a jean skirt. OMG, I was so excited. Was that the case with you too?

It was up against my green Firebird, just after eight o’clock. It was beginning to get dark. He pushed me against the car, whispered in my ear, and looked behind him to make sure he had an audience. I swear I saw my head go through the window. Was that the case with you too?

And when he was done, I’m not sure how I got home. But I remember his smile. I said “I’m okay” for two days. I tried to scrub him off my skin in scolding hot showers. Was that the case with you too?

For nine years, I couldn’t even say the word “rape.” He took away every success I would ever achieve. He destroyed me. He still owns my legs! Is. that. the. case. with. you. too?!

I am ashamed. I am enraged, watching the world minimize my rape as if it is just a number; as if I am just another name on a page. As if every rape is exactly the same.

Do you think the numbers aren’t out there? Do you think men and women don’t know rape is almost like a handshake these days? Here we are posting #MeToo because it’s the next viral tag stamped on our pain. And the alleged victims who indirectly inspired this tag, can you tell me their names? Don’t you dare Google! Are you listening?

Can you say “Me too?” Am I making you angry? What does my rapist look like? Did you forget?! Did you forget how it felt when you told your best friend, mother, or sister? Maybe you wrote a poem or a blog and shared it online, did you forget?

Did you forget how it felt when all you were trying to do is find your way back to yourself and when you needed support, when you needed to be heard, the world shouted, “Me too!” And shared every detail of their rapes with you as if somehow that pain would keep your head above water? Did you forget?

Because I still have nights I can’t close my eyes and I would risk my own life to avoid seeing his face in my dreams. I have days I can’t take the weight of every way I’ve been violated. I violate myself just to cover the scars! And you don’t get to say, “Me too.” You don’t get to make me feel reduced…

Unless you can name where they are.

When topics like this start trending on social media, it can be overwhelming for survivors. If you’ve been a victim of sexual assault and you are struggling, please reach out to the National Sexual Assault Hotline, 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE).

Your rape did not happen to the rest of the world. It happened to you.

I Was The Victim of A Hate Crime

I’m honored to share my latest article in Elite Daily.

It was 4 am, and I was just getting ready to lie down and beat the clock. My toddler was determined to win the battle of sleep, and that’s when the first #HeterosexualPrideDay tweet found its way to my feed on Twitter.

Without really thinking, I tweeted this:

Read more here: Why You Should Think Twice About Posting #HeterosexualPrideDay

Who Stands For The Victims of Daniel Holtzclaw?

While more than 600 students walked out of the classroom on Monday, 8 other women were called to the stand to testify against their accused rapist, Daniel Ken Holtzclaw, an Oklahoma City police officer.

13 women have accused officer Holtzclaw. CNHI state reporter, Janelle Stecklein reported:

A judge ordered an Oklahoma City police officer to stand trial on 35 felony charges stemming from allegations he coerced women to expose themselves, touched them inappropriately or used his authority to force them to have sex while he was on-duty.

In my home state and around the world, hundreds are standing up in solidarity with the Norman High students to address the school administration’s toleration of bullying and the revictimization and shaming of victims.

I stand with them.

In Missouri and around the world, millions are standing up in protest to act against police brutality and injustice, after Mike Brown’s family received no justice. Officer Daniel Wilson killed him with a storm of bullets. Mike was only 18, and Officer Wilson took an oath to protect him.

Officer Wilson also has a history of racism on his record.

We all stand with them.

No one is standing with these women.

In Oklahoma, if we don’t agree or the subject is too sensitive, we just bow our heads in prayer and ignore it. Even after Oklahoma court reporters, like Matt Dinger spell it out for us.

DNA found inside the uniform pants of an Oklahoma City police officer accused of a barrage of crimes matches a 17-year-old girl he reportedly raped on the front porch of her mother’s home.

You would think this case would have caused us to rise to action. You’d think, at the very least, we would share the articles and express our support for the victims and our intolerance of the abuse and violence.

But we don’t. We just remain silent, like many victims.

In the Bible Belt, that’s how you know that even Jesus couldn’t argue with the heaviness of the violence happening around us. Yet we sent in donations to show our support of rape, bullying, abuse of power and injustice.

His family didn’t remain silent.

Here’s what they had to say about the victims.

DANIEL7

DANIEL4

Yes, it makes sense. Look at Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Trayvon Martin. Victims were interviewed because it implies tolerance and corruption in our system. Victims should never remain silent.

DANIEL5

The motive is justice. The motive is saving the next victim.

The DNA of a 17-year-old child was found inside the pants of officer Holtzclaw’s uniform.

Victims are victims until proven otherwise, too. We forget that. Never call a rape victim a liar.

Let me ask something.

I have been sexually assaulted.

Do I look like a victim?

Where is Daniel Holtzclaw now?

He walks the street as a free man while his victims are slandered on social media networks.

Tonight, I commented on the Justice for Daniel Holtzclaw Facebook page. Ten minutes later, I was blocked from the page and my comments were deleted.

I will stand.

There have been too many women, too many children and too many victims, for me to remain silent. If no one in Oklahoma will stand up for these women, I will stand for them.

They matter.