Do We Need A Trending Hashtag For That?

Each year,  approximately 3 million reports of child abuse or neglect get filed. Those reports include the names of over 6 million children.

Some of those names are reported over and over again.

Child abuse and domestic violence happens daily. Every day, another abused child goes overlooked and every day, another abuser remains free and uncharged.

If the hashtag isn’t trending, we don’t care. It doesn’t matter.

It matters to me.

Enough is Enough. Silence is trending, too.

In September, the social media networks exploded with emotion and anger after  NFL running-back, Ray Rice had his violence captured on video and posted on TMZ.  Just days later, Adrian Peterson joined the NFL’s top trending players after being accused of child abuse towards his son, age 4.



They’re not trending anymore. We have a culture of violence. We have a habit of silence. We have a culture of rape, but we continue to divide genders and causes. We have a culture of abuse, but we don’t care. We have  . . .



As someone who has endured child abuse and domestic violence, it is more than just hype to me.

Some people can walk away from the television and leave the news on the screen, but I can’t. I carry it on my shoulders, my mind and my heart, alongside my own memories that linger. I carry the pain like a chain around my heart and my soul. I don’t forget.

The victims matter to me. I care. I’ll speak for the ones that have no voice.

They stayed trending for days and weeks.  Then, we moved on and replaced them with the latest trending on Twitter. I’ve watched it happen all year.

Now, I’m angry. I’m driven and I’m going to get loud.


Do we need a trending hashtag for that? Yeah?



When the hashtag stops trending, the abuse doesn’t stop. We should care about that!

When we make it acceptable for the line between discipline and abuse defined as “a gray blur,” we are damning our children to the same culture of violence and passing on the same habit of silence.

There is a line.

We draw the line. That’s our job as parents.

Abuse isn’t a tradition or a way of life passed down. It’s violence. It is someone choosing to intentionally hurt their children. It doesn’t just happen by accident. It is a choice made by the child abuser.

If experts cannot define the line between discipline and abuse, it is time for that mothers and fathers did.

I cannot fathom disciplining my child in such a way that bruises, welts and cuts, are left on her body. I would never intentionally inflict pain upon her at all.

To Adrian Peterson, though, that’s just the way of life.

So, the NFL waited a day to announce their commencement with former White House official, Cynthia C. Hogan, until one day after Peterson delivered his preapproved and professionally articulated statement.

A strategic move in keeping a lid on the latest domestic violence hype, and Charles Barkley helped defend a culture of abuse claiming,

‘Whipping — we do that all the time!’

Making sure to allude that it’s not a big deal.

But it is.

The approximate number of men, women and children, who will remain or become victims of abuse or neglect by the end of this year is 5.3 million.

Words that I wrote myself in an article for Elite Daily. They echo over and over in my head.

I care.

The line starts here.


What Would Jesus Say to Leelah Alcorn?

In my last blog, I wrote a response to a Christian Blogger who had posted a public response to my thoughts about Leelah Alcorn. This morning, I just wanted to add one quick thought.

What Would Jesus Say To Someone Like Leelah Alcorn?

Pastor Kell said it best.
Jesus would say every life matters. He would say,


We get so distracted by religion and judgement, we stop showing our love. It’s dangerous and deadly. And I can’t help but notice how the devil sure does look a lot like people.

Image Credit

Mom, Do You Know How Important You Are?

Dear Mom,

Do you know how important you are? You are so very important. Please, believe it. Own it! You matter the most, mom. It’s true!

I was adopted at the age of two. In 2007, I met my biological mother for the first time. I was willing to let her be a part of my life. She was only a child when she gave birth to three kids. I understood.

I haven’t seen my mother since then. She lives all the way in New York and I live in Oklahoma. On Christmas day, I wrote her a letter and told her goodbye. I believed that was a gift to myself.

I was hurting.

Then, I started to think about love and compassion and the message I’ve been sharing this past week with my readers as I’ve advocated for suicide prevention in response to the Leelah Alcorn’s death and the role that her mother and father played in it.

Leelah needed to hear her parents loved her and she was important. She needed to know her life mattered to them.

But she didn’t.

My mother matters to me. Our relationship might be broken and sticky but it’s important to me and I love her. She is my mother. She deserves to know that she matters to me. So, I told her.

MOM (3)


You matter! You are exceptionally important, and it’s not because of dirty dishes, laundry or dinner.

You’re the mom.

Suicide (4)

You’re the parent.

The way your child feels is important. You don’t have to understand it. You just have to tell them you love them, you hear them, they’re important to you, and they matter!

Tonight, hug them and tell them how lucky you are that they are in your life. You really are lucky! Do you know that?

You gave birth to love in its purest form. You held it in your hands and you rocked it. Every day, it should grow bigger—that love.

Make sure that it does, mom.

Nourish it.

Tell your children you love them. Show them. Live it. Echo that same love every day of the week! Love them no matter what mistakes they make or words they say. Love them no matter the stresses that linger, the job that awaits, or the money in the bank. Tell them they matter.

You’re not promised your tomorrows and neither are they.

Love them today!

Dear Loved Ones

Bossy Kids

Suicide Prevention

Send an open letter to your loved ones and tell them that they matter.