My Facebook Photo Isn’t Red, White and Blue


When One Million People Are Listening, You Roar

When Katy Perry hit the field at halftime Super Bowl Sunday, the crowd exploded with excitement, but I didn’t.

Before taking the stage, she expressed to the media,

I just hope that at the end of the day, over 100 million people are all smiling in unison.

I wasn’t smiling. Katy Perry took the stage with an opportunity before her to share one very powerful message.

She missed it.


As they anticipated the publication of the first No More commercial aired by the NFL during an event as momentous as the Super Bowl, the Joyful Heart Foundation exclaimed,

A historic 30 seconds!

When videos like Ray Rice’s go viral, the world loves to join in on the hype. But for survivors and victims all over the world, the video served as a trigger and a reminder. We didn’t just watch, we felt it.

We stood in anger. We stood in relation. We cried, we fought our own demons, we felt the same punches. We stood broken in the same spot and continued to scream the same message we did before the hashtag was trending.

If you ask me, that deserves more than 30 seconds. As Katy took the stage that day, these were the words that fell on everyone’s ears:

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath,
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess.
So I sat quietly, agreed politely.
I guess I forgot I had a choice.
I let you push me past the breaking point.
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything.

You held me down, but I got up (hey!),
Already brushing off the dust.
You hear my voice, you hear that sound?
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground!
You held me down, but I got up,
Get ready ’cause I had enough!
I see it all, I see it now.

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter,
Dancing through the fire,
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!

For many young girls and women around the world who have been victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, this song became our anthem. It has a powerful message.

Two songs later, her song Teenage Dream filled the Arizona arena.

You think I’m pretty without any make-up on.
You think I’m funny when I tell the punch line wrong.
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down.

Before you met me, I was alright.
But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life.
Now, every February you’ll be my valentine, valentine.

Those are powerful lyrics, too. But what comes after those words, sends a different message that’s just as powerful.

Let’s go all the way tonight.
No regrets, just love.

As a mother, I think on the message this sends to my daughter about sex being equivalent to love. Sex is not love.

The message that we send to our children is important. According to International Business Times, over 114 million people watched the Super Bowl Game. I know what I would say if I was given the opportunity to speak an important message to that many listeners.

Love Changes People

I would tell the world that love changes people. But not the kind of love Katy emphasises in Teenage Dream, and not the kind of message Janay Rice shared with the world after the Ray Rice video went viral, and she exclaimed to the world,

Just know we will continue to grow and show the world what real love is!

She sent a powerful message to the children who were listening and following the chain of trending hashtags on Twitter. She and her husband were both seen exchanging punches in one horrifying display of domestic violence.

Love is respect, not violence! Teenagers and preteens around the globe heard a dangerous message.

As adults, we forget that every moment at that age seems to carry such importance.

Expressed Emily Lindin in an interview with Monique, a writer for The Women Who. Emily is the founder of the UnSlut Project. Rehtaeh Parsons, a 17-year-old Canadian girl who committed suicide after being gang raped by 4 teenage boys and sexually bullied by her peers at school, is who inspired Emily to begin the UnSlut Project.

At first, Rehtaeh changed schools, moving from Cole Harbour to Halifax in an effort to escape the nightmare of trauma that surrounded her and the reputation and labels that given to her by bullies. But eventually, the pain became too much. On April 7, 2013, another one of our children took her own life because of violence.

In her interview with Monique, Emily goes on to say,

At that age, we don’t have the perspective that things will get better.

She’s right. As parents, it’s our job to tell them.


This month is Teen Dating Violence month. Last year, we saw way too much violence not enough love and empowerment!

#MikeBrown, #TamirRice, #EricGarder, #BringBackOurGirls, #YesALLWomen, #YesALLDaughters, #WhyIStayed, #WhyILeft, #NFL, #BlackLiveMatter, #AllLivesMatter, #NYPDLivesMatter, #TransLivesMatter, #NoMore, #DomesticViolence, #Peshawar, #JeSuisCharlie.

#WeAreNotAfraid! But we are.

On Valentine’s Day, #Halifax began trending on Facebook after Nova Scotia police prevented a Valentine’s Day Massacre. One more hashtag to document our culture of violence. And when the hashtags stop trending, the violence doesn’t stop.

At the end of 2014, #LeelahAlcorn was trending on Twitter and around the world after posting a suicide note on Tumblr and taking her own life.

As a survivor of attempted suicide, it shook me. I started screaming my own message,

Tell your children that you love them and they matter!

Even my own family failed to hear it. So, I began to screaming my message even louder.

What if love was trending and compassion went viral? Imagine!

Every Child Matters

When it comes to love, we don’t need a trending hashtag to show it. We’ve become so wrapped up in social media that we’ve started neglecting our children, and blaming them for the way of life that we’ve created.

Emily Lindin conveys,

It’s easy to say, ‘Oh, kids these days are so much worse than when we were young!’ But we have perpetuated this culture where today’s kids are growing up believing female sexuality is dirty and shameful.

Another powerful message to send to our children. Today, I stand with the viral women of the world to share one very important message with our children:

You matter!

You are more than enough. When you’re in a position to send a powerful message, you stand and you shout it.

I asked Emily in my own interview,

From your experience in high school, why would you tell young girls that it’s important to love themselves before anyone else?

This was her response.

I would tell girls it’s important to love themselves before anyone else because once you know what’s wonderful about you – once you’re really identified and explored it – you can search for complementary aspects in a partner. The problem with finding someone you think you love before you love yourself is that you risk changing or adjusting important parts of yourself in order to match THEM, rather than seeking out a person who will really bring out the best parts in YOU!

Love is what changes people. Love for ourselves, love for sons and our daughters, and love for each other. If we want national change, it begins right here with us.

It begins at home. Tell your children that you love them and they matter.

Send an open letter to your loved ones and tell them that they matter.

Image Credit

Dear Christian Blogger

Today I met a Christian blogger. “Culture of Violence?”  He wrote. Then, he proceeded with verbal assault.

Previously, I referenced his work, but I was respectful. I know how to hold my tongue when it comes to judging others. That’s not my place. I was called to love.

This is my personal response to the writer. 

Dear Christian Blogger,

Actually, the initial thoughts behind our culture of violence go much deeper than that.

Of course, you approached my blog with your glasses of judgement meticulously formulated and focused on your own way of thinking. After all, you’re a Christian. So, anything you do and say MUST be with good intentions, right?

You made sure to let me know it was “nothing personal.” It’s just your religion to point out people’s tragedies, shortcomings and faults, right? I understand.

You’re a Christian.

You have an important message to share with the world. Do you know what story I think of when I think of Christians much like yourself?

Mary Magdalene, one of Jesus’ greatest servants. Others fed Him, worshiped Him, followed Him and shouted His praises…

She washed His dirty feet with her hair and she was humbled!

I imagine she felt so honored because she was a whore. (As you’ve attempted and failed to make me to be in your introduction.)

Or maybe she wasn’t holy enough or clean enough, much like the diseased woman who strained and reached out to simply touch the hem of His garment.

I imagine I’m a lot like them.

After all, that was your intention, right? You’ve got to appeal to your readers who are similar to you; their Bibles turned to the page that gives permission for judgement.

It’s okay. I understand.

You’re Christians.

My previous relationship was with a female. The next time you want to attack me, read further! You would have had great ammunition to keep you focused.

I began that relationship the same month that I was violently sexually assaulted in someone’s front yard, while 5 other people watched.

But hey, make light of my pain and use it for your sermon. Amen? Thank God, Jesus never did that!

In all of my articles, at no point do I ever blame police. However, when you’re a writer and you cover stories that are in the media, the facts that you report have to be exact. Your kind of judgement wouldn’t make it to Elite Daily. But hey, you’re welcome to try.

If you had scanned less and read more, your information about my concept would be thorough and well-debated.

But it’s not.

See, this was my first article on our culture of violence. It was published in May 2014. You’d know, if you read it.

My second article covers who is to blame for the culture we’ve created. It very clearly points no fingers to anyone but us.

We the people!

My third article to address our culture of violence was this article. It’s about child abuse and domestic violence. But I’m sure in your eyes, the victim is to blame.

It’s okay. I understand.

You’re Christian, right?

That makes your prejudices acceptable and justifies judgement. At least, that’s the message you’re sending.

Then, I wrote about violence going viral. No, I didn’t blame police, at all! I called the people to action to stop the violence by exclaiming,

These are our children!

If you ask me, the fact that you’ve “read” so much of my work and given it so much thought (clearly), tells me a lot about your love, your thoughts and your heart.

Actions speak louder than words.

After reading a ridiculously loud message of love, you found the hate and judgement. The same way in your article about the death Leelah Alcorn.

You see, with every single article I have written, I’ve used “we, people, us” etc.

I’ve reminded people that we are all human and I’ve plead to the people,

Tell them that you love them and they matter!

God called us to do just that.

Sounds like He has called you to judge. And the message that you’re sending speaks loads.

Doors closed.

If God has called you to be a light in this world, why is it that none of your posts reflect it?

We do have a culture of violence.

Some of the most horrendous acts of violence we see today
flow from the very mouths of people.

Much like yourself.

Keep your religion. I’ll keep my faith and choose love.

Love changes people.