Dear Christian Blogger

Today I met a Christian blogger. “Culture of Violence?”  He wrote. Then, he proceeded with verbal assault.

Previously, I referenced his work, but I was respectful. I know how to hold my tongue when it comes to judging others. That’s not my place. I was called to love.

This is my personal response to the writer. 

Dear Christian Blogger,

Actually, the initial thoughts behind our culture of violence go much deeper than that.

Of course, you approached my blog with your glasses of judgement meticulously formulated and focused on your own way of thinking. After all, you’re a Christian. So, anything you do and say MUST be with good intentions, right?

You made sure to let me know it was “nothing personal.” It’s just your religion to point out people’s tragedies, shortcomings and faults, right? I understand.

You’re a Christian.

You have an important message to share with the world. Do you know what story I think of when I think of Christians much like yourself?

Mary Magdalene, one of Jesus’ greatest servants. Others fed Him, worshiped Him, followed Him and shouted His praises…

She washed His dirty feet with her hair and she was humbled!

I imagine she felt so honored because she was a whore. (As you’ve attempted and failed to make me to be in your introduction.)

Or maybe she wasn’t holy enough or clean enough, much like the diseased woman who strained and reached out to simply touch the hem of His garment.

I imagine I’m a lot like them.

After all, that was your intention, right? You’ve got to appeal to your readers who are similar to you; their Bibles turned to the page that gives permission for judgement.

It’s okay. I understand.

You’re Christians.

My previous relationship was with a female. The next time you want to attack me, read further! You would have had great ammunition to keep you focused.

I began that relationship the same month that I was violently sexually assaulted in someone’s front yard, while 5 other people watched.

But hey, make light of my pain and use it for your sermon. Amen? Thank God, Jesus never did that!

In all of my articles, at no point do I ever blame police. However, when you’re a writer and you cover stories that are in the media, the facts that you report have to be exact. Your kind of judgement wouldn’t make it to Elite Daily. But hey, you’re welcome to try.

If you had scanned less and read more, your information about my concept would be thorough and well-debated.

But it’s not.

See, this was my first article on our culture of violence. It was published in May 2014. You’d know, if you read it.

My second article covers who is to blame for the culture we’ve created. It very clearly points no fingers to anyone but us.

We the people!

My third article to address our culture of violence was this article. It’s about child abuse and domestic violence. But I’m sure in your eyes, the victim is to blame.

It’s okay. I understand.

You’re Christian, right?

That makes your prejudices acceptable and justifies judgement. At least, that’s the message you’re sending.

Then, I wrote about violence going viral. No, I didn’t blame police, at all! I called the people to action to stop the violence by exclaiming,

These are our children!

If you ask me, the fact that you’ve “read” so much of my work and given it so much thought (clearly), tells me a lot about your love, your thoughts and your heart.

Actions speak louder than words.

After reading a ridiculously loud message of love, you found the hate and judgement. The same way in your article about the death Leelah Alcorn.

You see, with every single article I have written, I’ve used “we, people, us” etc.

I’ve reminded people that we are all human and I’ve plead to the people,

Tell them that you love them and they matter!

God called us to do just that.

Sounds like He has called you to judge. And the message that you’re sending speaks loads.

Doors closed.

If God has called you to be a light in this world, why is it that none of your posts reflect it?

We do have a culture of violence.

Some of the most horrendous acts of violence we see today
flow from the very mouths of people.

Much like yourself.

Keep your religion. I’ll keep my faith and choose love.

Love changes people.


34 thoughts on “Dear Christian Blogger

  1. Grace,

    Anyone who claims to be a Christian and writes such judgmental, hate laced words has missed the point entirely. When I define myself as a Christian, I mean from a Christ-like perspective. No, I am not delusional enough to believe I am perfect, or without sin, or in the only position to best judge others, but rather seeking to be Christ-like in my actions, especially where it concerns. Jesus said our greatest commandment was to LOVE each other, not judge, mock, belittle and throw stones.

    Keep doing you, Grace.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I am posting anonymously here, as I did on his blog post. I am not interested in debating anything with people who refuse to see such a multi-faceted issue from such a narrow perspective.
    Since I am not sure he will approve my comment, here it is:

    “I don’t wish to incorrectly paraphrase, so I am quoting you directly:

    “Once again, as I have said time and again, we must rectify the mistake of creating a multicultural and plural society which gives way to calling everything a “culture” and protects the individual from any possibility of choosing wrongly.”

    It is a mistake to have multicultural and plural society?? I had to re-read that several times to make sure I read it correctly. Are you suggesting everyone should think the same, and act the same, and behave like good little automatons?

    Your Utopia might work if everyone had the same, unified, enriched upbringing. I suppose it would be much easier then, to sort the ‘bad eggs’ from the good, as everyone would have had the same start in life. Unfortunately we do not live in a world of fairies and unicorns, where all children are treated equally.

    Your conservative, white, male privilege is showing. “

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank goodness for people like you! You’re so important. People need to know that they matter! Readers like you have shown me that I matter today. And oh, how I needed to hear it! ♥


  3. Wow! I couldn’t even finish reading the verbal assault on you and your daughter. I’m a Christian, Grace. My first thought as I read through your post is that I hope you will not go the Mary Magdalene route in the future. Don’t let these judgmental crazies make you drop your head that way. I think you said it real well here: “If God has called you to be a light in this world, why is it that none of your posts reflect it?” I’m sorry this very hurtful thing happened to you. It’s incredible what some people will do to shut someone else up.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Laine,

      Honestly, neither could I! In fact, I made it less further than one might think. See, there was a time I would have read every single word. I would have heard their judgement and attacks so loudly, it would have torn me to shreds. I would have believed every single attack on my character and I would have wanted to pick up a razor and cut just feel. (Forgive my bluntness.) Many people in my family, who are 75% deacons, pastors, ministers and youth leaders, would say that God could change that for me. I thought so, too, for a while. In time, this past year, I learned I was wrong, mostly. I had to change it myself. How did I do that?

      I found my voice.

      I’ve actually been confronting myself a lot about religion lately. Just last night, someone wrote on my Facebook wall:

      Are you not a Christian anymore?

      This was my response:

      Honestly, I couldn’t tell you if I have ever had to answer that question directly. Maybe once. And recently, too. I guess… I have grown much louder at voicing my opinion. Now that I have been asked and I reflect on the question and why my stance seems so indifferent and open minded… I would have to say this:

      I have faith.

      Ironic that you’re asking about it tonight. Do you know when I stopped going to church?

      When I got out of the hospital from trying to attempt suicide.

      “When I was a teenager, a child who went to my school and lived at the end of my street shot himself. He didn’t make straights A’s on his report card and he couldn’t face his parents. His name was Sean Wilson.

      I didn’t know him personally, but my friends did. Two more children attempted to kill themselves shortly after.

      As an adult, I have learned that extensive physical and emotional trauma have conditioned my brain to a specific, organized, way of thinking. Some days, it feels like it did the same to my emotions.

      Sean’s death greatly shook the youth in our church. I was a youth leader and worship leader at the time. I had just signed a “ministry contract” as if that made me perfect. The day after Thanksgiving, I tried to kill myself, too

      Just two years prior, a friend of mine, who lived on the opposite end of the same street, shot himself in the head while I was sitting in the classroom wondering why he was absent. It was an accident. His name was Michael.

      I don’t know if the people in my hometown remember or care, but I do. I still drive by his house because he mattered to me.”

      Do you know how the church that I had attended since I was two and is pastored by “Uncle Jeff” responded?

      Guess I wasn’t “anointed” “called” or a “leader” after all. I know they were wrong now. But I didn’t then.

      I haven’t made up my mind on “Jesus.” Somedays, I’m not sure if I “believe” or if that is simply what my culture conditioned me to believe. Even if my logical side rejects it, it’s entwined in my life whether I like it or not.

      So, this is how I serve, go to church, minister, etc.

      I love people.

      I love them in such a way that it drives people crazy that I won’t shut up.

      I love people.

      I’ve read the whole Bible. And the most important, realistic and reflected, words I ever read were these:

      Three things remain: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love.

      I have faith and I love people. That’s good enough for me, for now. I’m still figuring myself out.

      You are faithful to my blog so you’ve heard those words before. Do you know what I call that, along with their timing? If there’s a God (oh, did I mention I am a believer?), I imagine that’s what it looks like when He stirs hearts and opens windows and moves people to speak in HIS time.

      Not long ago . . I was talking to my aunt and Secret Angel (you should see her blog and book), I told them both the same thing:

      I believe I am called to my imperfections.

      Because of them, I reach ears that your everyday, Christian believer doesn’t reach. And all I spread is a message of love.

      When I was in 7th grade… I HATED people. I HATED God. I hated the world, and I knew it.

      Meanwhile, my oldest sister, she was loved by all and singing in the church. I always wanted to be like her.

      So, I started writing a poem. I still have it today. “Show me how to love them, Show me how to love you …”

      I literally asked God for compassion.

      I didn’t know how. Know one ever showed it. “I love you” was for birthday cards and church was for show!! We left choir practice and abused our children in my family.

      That was our culture. That’s not God, that’s people.

      Maybe I am not your everyday believer. I can cuss like a sailor, I love karaoke and redbull and vodka, and I totally support equal rights, girls loving girls or boys loving boys. How? Why? “But the Bible..” No, I know. I don’t care.

      Do you know why I can stand up for their rights, too?

      Because I understand that PAIN CHANGES PEOPLE (trauma changes people).

      And God knows their hearts. Only he can judge.

      Maybe I’m not average.
      Maybe I’m not even worthy.
      Maybe that means I’m not Christian.
      I don’t know.

      But I know this . . .

      I will have spread God’s love whether my robes are pure or torn.

      I’m okay with that.

      Liked by 3 people

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