I was half asleep while skimming my Facebook news feed and feeding my 8-month-old daughter when I ran across this quote:
The truth is, if I had to do it all over again, there’s no way in hell that I would.
I have always said I’d never go back.
The simplest explanation being that if it wasn’t a fun ride the first time, chances of it improving a second time around are just as slim.
I’ll admit, I am a mess even on my good days. I don’t always thrive at social graces. I haven’t found Mr. Right nor have I planned a dream wedding. My two-bedroom, two-bathroom, apartment seems overly crowded with just a small puppy and my daughter. I have no white picket fence around my house. I’m still chasing that “American Dream.”
In high school, when I imagined myself at age 31, (trust me) this is not how I imagined my life!
I am, undoubtedly, not the person onlookers believe I should be. I tend to have a flair for advocating on controversial issues and I don’t mind ruffling a few feathers. I have always loved a good debate! I make sure to avoid taking the opinions of others to heart. I acquire my wisdom through a wide variety of people and one hell of a life.
You won’t find all my ducks in a row here. I must confess, I let them float unaligned.
I have always been an out-of-the-box thinker. I am constantly misunderstood. My life isn’t some meticulously painted masterpiece. It’s more of a canvas decorated with a paintball gun, smears of glue and glitter.
I am different from the average norm in 9512 different ways, but guess what?
I’m okay with that!
What is also different about me (extraordinary, I like to think), abnormal some may say, is: my perspective on life, the extent to which I love, my compassion, my determination and my strength. In those areas, I am more than just another middle-aged single mother and college student, who doesn’t quite have it together. Those characteristics were polished by every minute of my past, regardless if cherished or better forgotten.
Every breath of my history is what shaped my becoming and stirs my passion. Who would I be without that?
I firmly believe all our spiritual and cosmic threads are intricately woven together, bound at points and welded in others and interconnected. I could not change my life without changing someone else’s. What if that someone else was a life I unknowingly touched?
Life isn’t some mysterious puzzle waiting to be solved, framed and hung on the wall. It’s unpredictable, messy, short, beautifully tragic and sticky. Make sure not to spend so much time searching for yourself, that you neglect to embrace all things that you aren’t!
Like me, if should find you’re not “normal” as society has defined for all of us, be proud and own it. The world could use a few more extraordinary people!
This morning, as I looked into my daughter’s bright green eyes, I thought:
“Hell no, I wouldn’t go back!”
Life is a mere collection of moments, a vague memory of yesterdays and hope-filled desires for tomorrows yet to come.